very phuny

*Kehtay hain k ISHQ mai neend Urr jati hai
Faraz...
.
.
.
.
.
Koi Humse bhi to Ishq Karay! Kambakhat Sehri mai neend bohat aati hai. :-)

********************


*Ek Indian Foji Jung k doran hawai jahaz se chalang lgatay howe bola:

"Jay Kaali Maa ki"

Kali ma boli:
"Chal Teri Maa ki"

Ab main Bhi Fair & Lovely Lagati hon.


************************

*Agar Mobile Karachi mai Eejad hota to ye templates msg hote:

1: Mobile Chhin Gaya Tha yaar

2: Cigarette leta aaiyo

3: Date per hun

4: Teri car chaiye hai

5: Yaar balance hai to share kar

6: Shukar hai light to aai!!

7: Tu ruk mai Abi larkay le k wahan paunchta hun. :-D


*************************

*Aik Dafa ka Zikar hai k mai so raha tha, Bilkul Aise (^_^)
.
Phir mera Phone baja,
.
mai uth Gaya, Bilkul Aise (*_*)
.
Mene phone Dekha to Alarm Tha,
.
Time Dekh ker meri Aankhein aur khul gai, Bilkul Aise (O_O)

Phir Phir...

Phir mujhy Yaad Aaya k SUNDAY hai

Mai Phir so gaya Bilkul Aise (^_^)

*************************

*Jis Jis bhai ne Apna Fitrana dena ho woh
in Companies se Rabta Karain.

Zong: "Sab Hamain he do"
Ufone: "Tum Bhi to do"
Mobilink: "Fitrany Per no Samjhota"
Telenor: "Fitarana hai Dhun Sub ki"

You know ye Bechari Yateem Companies Fitrana, Balance check karny per
12 paisay ke soorat mai le rahi hain.

So roz Balance check karo aur in
yateem, Miskeen Companies ko Fitrana do.

***************************

*Question: Nahatay Huye Kya Cheez Zaroor Lagani Chahiye?


Sochen...


Sabun?


Shampoo???


Nahi Pata?




Answer: KUNDI :-)

***************************

-Height of Confidence:

A Cycle Rider Puts Sudden
Break in front of a Bus:

And Shouts at the bus Driver

"Abey Mrnay k Liye Meri he Cycle Mili Hai?"

**************************

-Ek MAHAJIR
Dagha Pusta Maa Waala Dai
Pahta Day Rora Laka Ma Daza Laka Bagora
Zamaan Kulli Chzo Daish.
HAHAHA. :-D
.
.
.
Oye Pathano ne Bhi Hamary Latify nikal liye Hain. :-)

**********************************

-Shakespeare Said:
"Grome Thecanx nimtejat peradege. Tinta reamy pejage."



Samajh Aaya Kuch?


Nahi Na?



Ulti Seedhi Baaten He Karta Tha...

Nafsiyati Tha Salaa...

*****************************

- .*""* . * ""*.
*  Dil  ki    *
 * Gehraiyon  *
  *... se.. *
     *...*

.
.
.

Lanat Ho.

.
.
.

Un par Jo Aapka Bura Chahtay Hain.

Be Positive Yaar.

*************************


-nterviewr: Kya Aap Abhi Tak kanwari Hain?


Actress Meera: Ji Nahi! Main Abhi Tak Unmarried Hoon.

. ******************************

-It is my fault:

Ye sab mere ghalti hai.

Me ne hi Michael Jackson ko SMS me likha tha k

"I Don't Love You"

Muje kya pata tha k wo Bechara ye baat dil per he le jayega. :-)

*********************************

-Sabhi Pakistan Waasiyo se ye Binti ki Jaati Hai k.

Urdu Bhasha Bolty Samay Hindi Shabdon ka Prayog Na Karen.

Aur Shudh Urdu K Prayog ko Jeevan ka Ang Bana Len.


Dhanyawad!

*******************************

-Ek Aadmi ne Zoo Mai 3 Zabaane bolne wala Tota (Parrot) dekha:

Jo English, Urdu Aur Sindhi bolta tha.


Usne 3 zabane check karne k liye us se puhcha:

Who r u?
Tota: I'm Parrot

Admi: Aap kon ho?
Tota: Mai Tota hun.

Admi: Tu kair ayen?
Tota: Tunjhi Maa jo yaar...
Hikri dafa chayona Tota ayan, Samajh mai natho ache?

**************************************

-Baloch Kafan Lene Dukaan par gaya.
Usne Dukandar se kuch kaha jisay sun kar Dukaandar Behosh hogaya.

Baloch: Kapra 2 Meter Ziyada Dena.
Shalwaar Gheron wali Banani Hia.

*******************************

-Agar Pakistan Mobile Ejaad Karta to Us Main Ye Templates Hotay:

1.Kaminay Jaldi Call Kr.

2.Ghar Kb Ayega Tu?

3.Gutka Leta Hua Aiyo

4.Date Pr Hn

5.Wahin Dekh. ;-)

**********************

-Raat Chand ne Mujhse Kaha k Tere Sab Dost.

Kanjoos Hain
Pagal Hain
Gadhay Hain
Nalaik Hain
Faltu Hain


Maine Chand ko Ghoora Aur Ghussay se Kaha:


Mujhe Pata Hai.


***********************

-Breaking News

Adnan Sami Apni building kay 10th floor se neechay gir gaye..


Aur...






Tappa khaa kay Waapis ooper chala gaye...

**********************************

-Major Rohail: Jab tum itni tezi se garri chalatey ho To mujhe bohat darr lagta hai.

Driver: Major Sahab aap b meri tarha ankhen Band kar liya kro.

********************************

- 1 admi driver sy : plz car ahis ta chalao mery 12 chooty chooty bacchy hain,car ki speed slow karo,
Driver:pehly apni speed to slow karo.............

************************************
1 aurat dr. sy: doctor sahab mujhy CHABI ka tiika laga den.
Doctor:Ap k bachy kitny hain?
Aurat:11
Doctor: to phir to munasib hai k TALA hi lagwa lo..............

***************************

BREAKING NEWS:


Mere MobiLe Maie KhudKash Bomb Blast hua hai.

22 SMS Mokey pe Jaan Bahak
21 Shadeed Zakhmi
30 SMS La Pata
Or..
8 SMS ne Inbox Mai Dam Torr Dia.

**********************

Qalam ki Taqat Talwaar se Ziyada Hai.


Kyon k.



Talwaar se Shalwaar main Narra nahi dala ja sakta.
Par Qalam se dala ja sakta hai.

**************************

DON ne ab Jurm ki dunia chore di hai,
Aur ab aik Madarasa khola hai

So Please,

Balance ki Soorat Main Chanda Daal kar Dunay aur Aakhirat Sanwaren.

************************

Dimag hai to in letters se ik Naam banaye.
"R D Z R A I A "


HINT: Ye ek Ainak Walay Kuttay ka naam hai.

*****************************

Teacher: Lalchi Kuttay Pe Mazmoon Likho.


Student: Madam! Mujhe 14 Saal k liye Jail nahi Jana, Aur Jaidaad Zabt hogi woh alag.

"Aap Samajh To Gaye Hogay" ;-)

*******************************

Circuit Munna Bhai Se: Bhai, Ye Pakistani Log, 14 August pe Jashan kyon Manaty Hain?

Munna Bhai: Bolay To,

Is Din, Quaid-e-Azam ne Apun k Bapu ki Watt lagai thi. :)

*********************************

Real Story

At A Privat Party Meera Was Invited!
Suddenly Meera said Sumthing Dat There Was Pin Drop Silence!

Meera: Waiter Meri Coke Mei SNOW Daal Dien Plz.

**********************************

Yaar Mai ye msg aapko apne

Brand new
IPod
6 Mega Pixel Camera
8 GB memory
Blue/Infra/GPRS/MMS
Aur
Touch Screen

Se to nahi kr rha
Par
DUA krna jald az jald kr sku.

*****************************

Dekhte Hain aapki urdu kitni achi hai?


Aande (Egg) ki Zardi Safaid HOTI hai ya HOTA hai?
.
.
.
.
.
Janab Aande ki Zardi hamesha YELLOW hoti hai,

*********************************

Is Msg mai Mera Naam Dhoondho!

Nahi Mila???

Ghor Se Dekho....

Oper Contact name Nazar Nahi Aaraha???


Kardi Na Pathano Wali Harkat.


*****************************

Zindagi Main Kabhi Haar Na Mano...

Zindagi Main
Itna Aagy Barho.
Itna Aagy Barho.
Itna Aagy Barho.

K Aagy Wala Tang Aa kar Kahy.

"PEHLE TU HE CHALA JA."

******************************

Jab se Tumhari Dosti Hui Hai.

Mujhe Ehsaas Hua Hai K

Aapki Qeemat Laakhon Main Hai...

Agar Bura Na Maanen To...

Aapko Bech Don?


Mujhe ALTO Khareedni Hai Plz.

*******************************

Papa: Beti "B.Sc" K Baad Kya Karo gi?

Beti: M.K.B.M.A Karongi.

Papa: What is R.K.B.M.A?

Beti: Mohsin Ki Banhon Main Aaram...

Uff Ye Larkiyan Bhi Na...

**********************************

Ustaad Shagird Se: Jo Doosray ko Apni Baat Samjha Na Sakay Woh Gadha Hota Hai...


Shagird: Sir Main Samjha nahi..... :-)

***********************************

Sirf

Sirf


Sirf

SIrf

SiRf

SirF

S
I
R
F

S
I
 R
  F
   S
   I
   R
   F
  S
 I
R
F

"Tapana Tha"
:-)

*********************************

The Best Gift to be Given

To a Friend:
Honesty

To an Enemy:
Forgiveness

To Parents:
Gratefulness

To Allah:
Ur Life

To Me:
Nokia N.97,
Sony Laptop, BMW etc etc. :-)


**************************************

Ek Murghi ne Pak-India Border pe Anda Diya.
Dono Mulk Ek Anday k Liye Larny Lagy.

Faisla Ye Hua k Kon Dosray Mulk ki Ziyada Larkiyon ko Kiss Karega, Phir Baat Tay Hogi..

Pehle Pakistani India Gaye.
Aur 20000 Larkiyon ko Kiss Kya.

Indians Excited Ho K:
Ab Hamari Baari.

Pakistani: Choro Yaar Tum Anda Rakh Lo... :-)

***********************************
Two Friends saw a lion:

1st climb up the tree
2nd lay down to Play "Dead"
Lion came to him and said
.
.
.
"Na bacha Na ab ye film purani ho chuki hai"

**************************************

Shadi k Dosrey din:

Bubbli: Ammi aaj meri ur unki larai ho gai.

Anti Misba: Beta shadi me jhagry tu hoty hen.

Bubbli: Wo to theek hai per ab Laash ka kya karen?

*******************************************

Ek Cute se 7 Saal k Bachay ka Cute si 6 Saal ki Bachi ko Propose karne ka Style:

Boy: Oye Tum melay shath shadi talo di?
Girl: Nai.

Boy: Pleesh!
Girl: Nai Na!

Boy: Alay Maan Jao Na Pleesh! Main Tumto SLANTY Le Tal Don Da,
Girl: Nai Maine Ice-Cleem Khani Hai.

Boy: Chal Gandi Bhooki.

*********************************

Height of Ghurbat:

Faqeer: 2 Rupay ka Sawaal hai Baba...


Bacha: Baba Jaldi se sawal batao, Mujhe 2 Rupay ki bohat sakht zaroorat hai.

***********************************

Live Concert at SKY...


* DANCE by
Michael Jackson

* SINGERS
Noor Jahan
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

* Poetry by
Ahmed Faraz



Free Ticket Lene k liye
Neti Jetti K Pull se Jump karen. :-)

*******************************

Walk on your OWN PATH.

Love in your OWN WAY.

Talk in your OWN WORDS.

Do what your Heart says.

and One Day.

The World will say...

Dheet hai Bhai, Kisi ki nahi Sunta... :-)

*************************************

Larki k Gaal par Gulaab marny ka Response:

English Girl: You are too naughty sweet heart!

Urdu Girl: Nahi karo na Jaan!

Memon Girl: Insan jo Bacho Bani Win, Kutte jo Bacho naban.


************************************

Zindagi k 4 Behreen Usool:

1. Kisi Dost k Phadday main jao aur samnay wali nafri ziyada to ho apny dost ko he peet do.

2. Agar kisi ka Kuch Bigaar nahi sakty to us per Thook Phaink k Bhag jao.

3. Kabhi pitne lago to samny waly ko Bhai Bana lo.

4. Shair Sirf apny ghar k samny ban k ghomo...


**********************************


T20 Final ki raat hamaray mulk par Khushiyon ki Barish kyon thi?

Mulk ka har bacha, Boorha, Aur Jawan khushi se kyon pagal tha?

Us din apny sary ghum bhula kar mulk ka har aadmi sarkon par kyon jhoom raha tha?


Kyon k us din hum main se,
Na koi Punjabi tha, Na Balochi, Na Pathan, Na Sindhi, Na Urdu-Daan us din hum sab sirf.
"PAKISTANI" they.

Agar hum isi tarha muttahid rahen to har din Eid aur Har Raat chand Raat ho. Aameen.

GEO to AISE.


*********************************

Govt school k Bache kisi ko ghaseet kar k le ja raha tha.

Rastay mein ek Buzurg ne kaha: Bacho! Larky ko chor do ye khud school aaye ga.

Bache zor se boley: Baba ji ye shagird nhi humara ustad hy, roz school se bhaag jata hai.

*******************************

Aadi raat ko aadmi apni Moti Biwi se: Begum! Sisak sisak k marna acha hai ya aik dum?

Biwi: EK dum.

Aadmi: To phir apni doosri taang bhi mere ooper rakh do.

*********************************


Apni koi PIC to Bhejo...

Wallpaper k liye nahi balkay...

Kitaab k Front Page par lagani hai...

Kitab ka Naam Hai....



"Qabar Ka Azaab"....

*********************************

A Student of Class 3 Got Homework to write a Drama scene,
He Wrote:

The King and Queen were walking in their Garden,
After sometime their servant comes and says: "Baadshah Salamat! Aapko bohat bohat mubarak ho, Aapke han Beta Paida hua hai. :-P"

********************************

Agar Buses k naam Pakistani actresses par hotay to:

REEMA overload hogayi.

SAIMA k neechay aa k ek banda halaak.

Accident mein SANA k front bumper toot gaye.

Tez raftari k ba'is LAILA mor katatay hue ulat gayi.

MEERA par charhne walon ki taadaad mein izafa.

SHAHIDA MINI ke peechay aag lag gayi.

NIRMA chalte chalte band ho gayi.

RESHAM ko Sar-e-Raah loot liya gaya.

NARGIS k sheeshay tor diye gaye.

Aur

ANJUMAN ne kayi logon ko kuchal daala.

*********************************

3 ways to catch a Tiger:

1: Newton's method:
Allow the Tiger to catch u and catch the tiger.

2: Einstein's method:
Chase the Tiger until it get tired then catch it.

3: Pakistani Police method:
Catch a Cat and beat it until it accepts it's a Tiger.



****************************

Kon kehta hai k Koi Science Daan Muhabbat ko Laboratory main Paida nahi kar sakta.

Muhabbat Laboratory Main bhi paida ho sakti hai.

Par shart ye hai k Lab Assistant Waqai main Pyaari ho.

*******************************

ye khota kis ka hai

Barray Be-reham Hain Tere Shehar k Log Faraz...

.
.
.
.

Msg kar k Puchtay Hain

(\./)
/ " ) "^ ----;";
\,,/"( , P , )\\
     //\\ //\\

Ye Khota Kis Ka Hai.

Bulb Re-Invented for Load Shedding in Pakistan

Modern Maths of Life!!!!! INTERESTING!!!!

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,

Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,

Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work

=============================
Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,

Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,

Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

=============================
Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,

Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,

Women that don't spend = Donkeys

=============================
To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!(Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!(Postulate 2)

So, we have...

Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore...from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude 



Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

How wrong ad placement can hurt your Brand...Learn from Zong : Hilarious

How wrong ad placement can hurt your Brand...Learn from Zong : Hilarious

Chum Chum Chum - Funny SMS

Chum Chum Chum
Aath AAnay ki Chalia,
Aath AAnay ka Paan,

Chal Meray Ghoray Pakistan,
Pakistan main Peoples Party,
Us ki Leader Benazir,

Benazir Ko Goli Lagi,
Bakhtawar, Asifa Ronay Lagi,

Rotay Rotay Book Lagi,
Kha lay Bilawal MoongPhali,

Moong Phali main Dana Nahi,
Zardari Kisi Ka Nana Nahi,

Pakistani Achay,
Musharaf Bhai Sachay,

Sachay Sachay Jaaengay
Sheikh Rashid ki Dulhan Laengay,

Codoleza Kali,
So Nakhron Wali,

Ek Joota Chhooth Gaya
Bush Ka Moonh Soojh Gaya

Sardar Jee Jokes Collection - Best Jokes

1. You should be sure the person is Sardar when he: 

• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind. 

• gets stabbed in a shoot-out. 

• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it. 

• tries to drown a fish in water.

• thinks socialism means partying. 

• trips over a cordless phone. 

• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. 

• At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius.". 

• studies for a blood test and fails. 

• sells the car for gas money.

• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead. 

• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home. 

• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor. 

2. Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"

3. Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

4. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed. 

5. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?

Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear 

6. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? 

Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. 

7. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? 

Tell him a joke on Wednesday. 

8. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?

Trying to hold on to a thought. 

9. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?

So you don't have to re-train them on Monday. 

10. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?

They always forget the recipe. 

11. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? 

He threw it off a cliff. 

12. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

13. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?

The back of his head. 

14. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? 

Pull the pin and throw it back. 

15. What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? 

Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!). 

16. What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?

Just-one Singh.

17. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? 

They think their picture is being taken.

18. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?

Toes Go In First. 

19. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? 

It has a stamp on it.

20. Why can't Sardar dial 911?

They can not find the eleven on the phone 

21. How do you get Sardar on the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house.

22. "Oh, look at the dead bird." 

Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where? 

23. What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? 

You always hear about them but you never see them. 

24. Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?You have to hollow out the head. TO LOOSE WEIGHT...The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."

Sardar Ji Jokes Collection

1
Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India.

2
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

3
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

4
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

5
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

6
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

7

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

8

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

9

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.